Life As A New Mommy

Hi everyone! So it's been awhile since I updated you guys on my life and how everything is. Well, I'm a Mommy now! Yyyyeeessss!!! I feel like it's been a long time coming. We have tried so long to get pregnant and when I finally gave up, that's when it happened! I couldn't hardly believe it myself. God does move in mysterious ways and I am beyond grateful. Because this opportunity doesn't happen to all women and I pray to all women out there to keep trying and don't loose hope! Keep praying because God never stops listening. On another note, being a new mommy gave me a new perspective in life. Literally, everything has changed! From being able to sleep whenever I wanted to not being able to sleep a whole lot. Hahaha typical parent complaint! But, being a parent is the most rewarding job in the world. Because you're shaping your little one to be a better person in the world and seeing a little you grow up is just so fascinating. Sometimes I can't hardly contain myself and I post too much baby pictures on my facebook! Has any mom have that problem too? Mostly everything that's going on in my life right now is quite challenging, everyday there's always something new. One thing I learned as a new parent is being more patient than I used to, being able to understand, forgive and love more. My heart has a different perspective when it comes to loving someone, and that someone that I love the most is my child. I want to give her all that I can, I wanna be there when she needs me or when she calls out for me. It's crazy how her little cries breaks my heart to pieces but I know I can't always protect her. But I will always try, because that's one of my job as her Mother. And let me tell you something, it's the best job in the world!

Somewhere I belong

This few days has been knocking me down to my knees. Which is the perfect position to pray and ask God up there so help me. Help me heal, forgive, and move on. Right when I thought everything is finally falling into place, everything falls apart. It has always been like this in my life. Sometimes I get so scared when I get too happy because I know later It will hurt me so much. I would end up crying. I am weak and sensitive like that.   Why? I think it's because I feel for people so much. I care too much that when something happen, it really hurts me. I know all of this is just a trial that I must overcome. God is with me even if nobody is. I know I am not alone. Even when physically I am. All I could think of is how I should be thankful each day. Some people got it worse. I should not complain. I should be grateful and humble. The inner part of me keeps reminding me that. everything is going to be ok. Right when I am ready to let go, I find a thousand reasons to keep fighting and holding on. I promise myself, when I was a kid that I won't let hard time make me bitter or dull. I will continue to bloom and enjoy life. Because I know at the end of the day, I will shine. I will be happy. And I will never give up on that hope. Even if it kills me. I know there is good in everybody. I know there is.

Boundaries Of Love

If you love someone, ask him for nothing. Don't hold him for his destiny. Don't keep him from going off in search of his own answers. Don't ask him for commitment. You will know commitment is real when it is something given willingly, and not something obligatory. Don't ask him promises. If you are patient, if you have faith, you will know in your heart when the right time for promises has come. And when that time arrives, then you will see that you have both lost nothing by setting each other free, and have instead gained a richer, fuller life, a wealth of experiences, and a stronger certainty of your desires. But should he not return to you, then life hasn't cheated you because no promises were broken. Your bitterness will not last long, and you will feel thankful and blessed that at the very least, this beautiful soul has colored your life, that knowing him has already made life infinitely more meaningful. By setting a person free, you run a risk of him not returning. But always remember that you found him beautiful precisely because he was free. People are like sunlight. You can feel their warmth, and their glow, but you can't hold them in your hand and keep them with you forever. People choose to stay. But a choice is made more meaningful when it is made despite so many other options.

Sleepless Nights

Yes I'm having one of those nights where I know I'm tired and need to sleep but my eyes won't close and give me a rest. I guess you can say I'm anxious for tomorrow because I have a hands on training at work that I have to attend to, plus college on top of that. Soooo... It's going to be a pretty long day for me. Bleh. I'm thinking of what to tell you guys. Let's see.. hmmm.. My day was pretty normal, nothing special. I was going to work out but I got lazy so I just walked my dog then after that I played some games on my ps3, watched some tv, and browse online on some furniture. Nothing kept me busy or interested. Pretty much my whole day was boring. But I'm looking forward for tomorrow because I have something to do and I know for sure that I'm gonna wish I don't have something to do. Does that make sense? I don't know ;P I guess I'm really super tired now. Anyways catch you guys later! :)

Your Own Choice

Have you ever woke up one day and thought, "What do I want to be? What kind a job can I call my career and not have to work a day in my life? What is the difference between a job and a career?" Well this was the questions I was asking myself for the past 3 years since I graduated high school. I was confused and didn't know what to do with my life. All I knew was I was a C.N.A and thought maybe this is all the education that I'll ever need. I mean, I've work with woman who's been a C.N.A for 28 years. How could she work so long in just one job? Especially a not so easy one. How could she be so patient? That got me thinking really hard. Then I realized, to her being a C.N.A is not just another job. It's her career, that's what she loves to do. I on the other hand don't feel the same. And I also realized, that's alright. We all have to find the road were destined to take. She found hers, and now I have to find mine. It won't be easy following your own dreams I can tell you that much. Ever since I got out of high school. my parents and some family relatives of mine expected me to go to college and pursue a Nursing Program. I thought I was going to since I was already a C.N.A and thought, "Why not?". I mean I'm good at being a C.N.A how hard can it be to be a Registered Nurse? But I thought wrong. I woke up one day and realized I wanted to do something else. I wanted to make MY OWN CHOICES. After all it is my life and I should live it the way that satisfy me and makes me happy. So, I changed my major to Arts in accounting. Of which I am very excited for! I am not the greatest in math let me tell you that. But! I love challenges. I get bored when things are too easy to follow. Things are more interesting to me when my brains are having a hard time. Needless to say, I will get there. I will reach my dreams no matter how hard the road to success is. Bumps and curves here I come! :)

Cold Weather/New Home

A lot of things has changed since 2012. First, let me start of by saying thank God for new beginnings and second chances. I wouldn't be where I'm at without God and the people that truly care about me. Now I can say I've hit rock bottom once in my life but here I am, back on my feet with the a bright future ahead of me. I am happy and content. I may not have much but I've never been so happy in my life! Anyways, me and my family moved to a new house in Boise! And here I am going to college majoring in Arts. So stoked! We're all moved in just need to organize and such. I can't wait to finish decorating our bedroom and I might put up a picture here so you guys can see it. Its one of my projects that I will accomplish soon! It kinda sucks having to go back to work though with this ugly weather we're having up here in Idaho. Can't it be spring already? I mean winter should be illegal. It makes people sick. Sure we like snow but if it was me I'll only have it on Christmas day. That's it. Anyhow, I'm ranting too much. We need to figure out what's for dinner. So, I'll rant again some other time! :)